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Those shoes are not blue nor are they suede. 
How am I supposed to slap a ho without an essential part of my balanced breakfast? 
Nothing says sanitary like a parrot in the produce section… 
“What are you wearing sexy?” -Cowboy boots. “Ya, that’s hot.” – Pink velour pants. “Ya I like that.” – a little green baby girl hoodie. “Oh damn, that sounds sexy.” – and I kinda look like Gallagher. “Oh ya…wait…what?” 
Let’s run through my rock star list…. Mullet? – check; big sunglasses? – check; heart shaped tattoo? – u know I love my mom; Cut jean shorts? – are there any other type of shorts?; wife beater tied at the midriff – check;….. He is an official ROCK STAR! 
I think I just sharted… 
WTF??? 
Is that Rainbow Brite all grown up?? 
Is that a soccer ball? A map of the solar system? The structure of a sub-atomic particle? 
I have absolutely no idea what to say… 
Is that a gangster leotard? 
Everyone loves the man in the yellow go-go boots! 
Nice purse! 
Do you see the flame shoes buddy? That means I will not think twice about karate chopping you Into the middle of next week! 
AHH! I love the frozen food section… it tingles! 
Umm… excuse me, sir… 
At least the purse matches, right? 
Rawr… 
No, honey, it’s an ancient Egyptian symbol of prosperity, I swear! 
I was wondering why you suddenly smelled better. 
Every man has an NFL jersey AND pink short-shorts in their wardrobe, right? 
I have the same outfit, only in red. 
Just in case you had the urge… 
Now all we need is Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem for a reunion tour. 
Yes, you are seeing that correctly. Old man + large, supple breast implants. |
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